The musings of a chocolate monster
Saturday, April 24, 2004
Friday, September 05, 2003
potato balls and couches
met up with some friends for dinner tonight at our new fave hangout ... potato balls (now wedges :( ), couches, chai latte and hilarious conversation :) hurrah!
conversation turned to the attributes each of us look for in a partner ... and it was interesting to note that we agreed on a lot of these attributes, whether this was coincidence or a result of us all being friends and thus having similarities in our personalities, i'm not too sure.
a few of the things i learned tonight:
Lesson 1:
if you snort wasabi powder, your nose will bleed
Lesson 2:
it is possible to drink 3.5 bottles of wine until 5 in the morning and survive at work the next day
Lesson 3:
obssession with cantopop = turn off
hee!
also had lunch with one of my friends earlier today whom i haven't seen in a while ... it was fun catching up and filling each other in on the goss. the first thing she said to me was "i've missed you" *hug* aw .. she sure knows how to pull the heart strings :)
she is one of those friends who i can not see for a long periods of time but can just pick up our closeness when we meet up again ... i really do feel like i can confide in her and trust her. in 'music from another room' danny (jude law's character) is asked to describe what being in love is like, his response is:
"you know how when you're listening to music playing from another room? And you're singing along because it's a tune that you really love? qhen a door closes or a train passes so you can't hear the music anymore, but you sing along anyway... then, no matter how much time passes, when you hear the music again you're still in exact same time with it. that's what love is like"
i think the same can be said for true friendship.
sweet dreams all!
Thursday, September 04, 2003
time to unpack
it feels strange to be back after a longish hiatus ... why did i take a break?
i guess it began to feel like everytime i sat down at the computer to write .. i mentally clammed up ...
but i am now back ... having drawn inspiration from some other people's writings that have struck something inside me and made me feel ... *tingle* ...
over the last number of months i have made a lot of mistakes and thus learned a lot of lessons. i have been spending a lot more time with friends ... getting to know other people better and just getting more social happenings out of my 'play time' as i like to call it, i.e. non work time :) i've always seemed to draw my energy and focus from alone/introspective time .. however over the last number of months i have seemingly managed to juggle both ... though perhaps sometimes with a bit of compromise.
i guess over the last number of months i have found a small patch of inner peace within myself, i am certainly in no way satisfied or dare i even say happy, but i think that having spent so much time wallowing in angst in the past .. my emotions have plateaued a bit and i feel okay being alone (but ask me next week and it could be a whole different story :) )
they say that when you reach this point, when you least expect it, that is when something extraordinary happens in your life ...
the romantic in me still believes that to be true, but the shadow of my cynic lurks in the back of my mind.
is life really all about fate or is it more like a double headed coin toss?
Wednesday, September 03, 2003
chips other than the potato kind
"i have a strange feeling that we will be coming back from this trip more tired than before we left"
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
for a moment the world seemed topsy turvy .. the land seemed to be a twinkling sky beneath us and the sky was a misty pillowy sort of land ...
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
from plane eye view the bright lights of melbourne looked like one of those circuit boards we used to play with in computer class in primary school. symmetrical gridline patterns with carefully laid out chips, each with it's own special place, each with a purpose no matter how seemingly insignificant.
as the plane drew closer to the ground the tiny specks of light grew larger, seeming to flash in time with my excitement reminding me of the tacky special effects used to portray the inside of a computer in late 80s/early 90s movies, a la hackers .. and i was excited, my first real holiday for almost a year ...
Trip Uppers:
the shopping!
all genki goods!
earmuffs
navy and silver nike aces
pink ballet ribbon shoes
finding hot pink and black striped top that was sold out in syd
coca cola bottles (not getting stuck with nelson's p)
the artwork at fat 52 ('he was her solace')
the moving cinema exhibition at federation square
wicked dnb tracks
the 12 apostles
the scenery along the great ocean road
the boathouse with the fireplace!
jackass!
party boy melbourne
robot (asahi = best sore throat remedy!)
honky tonk (decks in a piano!)
singing our lungs out to and bopping along to electro, jamiroquai, miscellaneous rnb tracks
chapellis (24hr pasta/cake goodness)
all day breakfast!
happy snaps
giant bonsai
taking pics of friends in vulnerable states and blackmailing them into slavery ;)
Trip Downers:
losing my special bangle =<::
having the flu all week
getting caught in the rain and hailed on
the icy cold, windy temperamental weather
not being able to visit the markets because of the above
locking our luggage in the wrong room and not being able to get into that room until the next morning
sleeping in contacts and smokey clothes as a consequence of the above
spaced out
'evolution' rnb nite
not being able to go to phillip island to steal a penguin
blue shirt guy
lack of luggage space
having to hide shoes and excess shopping
parking ticket
serious lack of zzzzzzzzzzzz
Tuesday, March 18, 2003
no matter how much you appear to change on the outside, i believe that inside will always remain remnants of the same person, with the same fears, insecurities and personality traits.
inside me is still the frightened and shy little girl who always felt like a bit of an outcast ...
do these remnants manifest themselves in my everyday life years and years later? i think they do. i think they pull me down by causing me to doubt myself and to be insecure ... but they also act as an anchor that allows me to see more in other people and gives me the ability to empathise with life situations ... they make me a better and 'deeper' person.
Tuesday, March 11, 2003
Went to my first pilates class today - part of my plan to regain a slightly less pathetic level of fitness.
It was pretty good actually, it involved a lot of stretching and breathing and strength building ... I actually felt better afterwards without having to sweat a drop! =>
Scarily enough though ... some of the exercises reminded me of this ancient Jane Fonda video my mum has =/ oh the big hair, the fake cheesy grins, the leg warmers ... the tacky 80s exercise music ... *shudders*
Tuesday, March 04, 2003
You know what I hate? I hate it in books and movies where rejector says to a rejectee love interest "if there was anyone I would choose to love in this world it would be you"...
Shut up! you are REJECTING someone! You DON'T want to love them, you don't CHOOSE to love them so enough with your condescending isht! Must you RUB it in!
Sorry ... I feel a little emotional over here ... =O
